> For the complete documentation index, see [llms.txt](https://jamiewen00.gitbook.io/tech-lead-handbook/llms.txt). Markdown versions of documentation pages are available by appending `.md` to page URLs; this page is available as [Markdown](https://jamiewen00.gitbook.io/tech-lead-handbook/people/manage-conflicts.md).

# Manage Conflicts

## The What

Nonviolent communication principles - [**A-E-I-O-U Model of Managing Conflict**](https://www.annmehl.com/a-e-i-o-u-model-of-managing-conflict/). 

## The How

<mark style="background-color:green;">Assume that both sides have good intention</mark>

**A – Acknowledge:** Assume positive intention and acknowledge their efforts. Make people feel respected and appreciated as a colleague. ”<mark style="color:green;">What I hear you saying is…</mark>" or “<mark style="color:green;">I just wanted to let you know that…</mark>”

**E – Express:** Express your own specific concerns. <mark style="color:green;">“I feel/think…</mark>”

**I – Identify:** Non-defensively propose the changes you would like to see occur. Here’s where compromise may occur naturally. “<mark style="color:green;">I am wondering if…</mark>” or “<mark style="color:green;">Would you be willing to…</mark>”

**O – Outcome:** Highlight the benefits of the outcome. “<mark style="color:green;">Thanks. I appreciate your flexibility with this issue</mark>.”

**U – Understanding:** Ask for feedback, nail down agreement on nest steps. “<mark style="color:green;">How about we try this for a while and see if it works out for both of us?</mark>”

## :red\_circle: Red Flags

* Avoid closed questions

## :scroll: Tips

* Find the common ground
* Use the common language
* Work with empathy


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