Identify Insecure Vibes
Learn to recognise the signs, like over-explaining and defensive reactions, and project confidence even when you don't feel it
Insecure vibes are subconscious clues and signals we give off when feeling anxious, nervous, or uncertain, especially when we want something to work out but doubt it will.
😬 What Insecure Vibes Look Like
Long diatribes
Giving a long-winded, defensive response when a short, warm one would suffice.
Over-explaining
Expecting skepticism, bringing up counterpoints no one has mentioned, potentially introducing objections the other person wouldn't have thought of.
Rambling sentences
Using "ands" and "buts" to string together lengthy sentences can make you sound less authoritative and diminish the impact of your message.
Defensive reactions
Reacting defensively to questions or pushback can make you appear insecure about your decisions, even if you are not.
😌 Counter Insecure Vibes
Accidental Insecure Vibes
When you feel confident internally, but your actions unintentionally project doubt, making people question your confidence. This mismatch between your internal feelings and external presentation can be detrimental, as people may misinterpret your competence based on your demeanor.
Analyse Your Communication
Before sending a message or attending a meeting, ask yourself:
Could this be interpreted as defensive?
Am I overcompensating or over-explaining?
How would I respond if I felt secure?
Would I say this on my best day, feeling confident?
Match Your Outside to Your Inside
When you feel confident, ensure your actions reflect that confidence:
Avoid excessive caveats when presenting your ideas
Speak in complete, authoritative sentences
Eliminate "ands" and "buts" that create rambling, less confident-sounding sentences
Prepare opening lines for meetings to start strong
Practice scripts for important conversations, such as asking for a raise
In Short
Recognise these vibes in yourself and others is key to effective communication and avoiding self-sabotage.
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