Uncover Deeper Intent

look beyond the surface level of what someone says or asks to understand their underlying motivations, concerns, and goals.

🤔 The Question Behind the Question

Surface Question vs. Deeper Intent

when someone asks a question, there's often a deeper layer to their inquiry beyond the literal words spoken. A manager asking, "How is that project coming along?" might actually be concerned about potential delays or seeking reassurance about the project's progress.

• Repetitive Explanations: Finding yourself having to explain something multiple times suggests your initial response didn't satisfy the deeper concern.

• Excessive Follow-Up Questions: An unusually high number of follow-up questions indicates the person is seeking further clarification or reassurance.

• Lingering Skepticism: If the person remains doubtful or skeptical after your initial answer, they might have an unaddressed concern or require different evidence to be convinced.

• Irrelevant Questions: When someone asks questions you've already addressed or that seem irrelevant, they might be trying to understand a different aspect of the situation or have an unarticulated worry.

🔍 Uncover Deeper Intent

Avoid engaging in never-ending back-and-forth. Step back and think about what their true concern might be. For example, they might be looking for reassurance, better logic from you, or a different type of evidence than what you’re sharing. If your answers aren’t landing, don’t only do more of the same—instead, consider adjusting your approach.

Assume Positive Intent

When you feel defensive, assume positive intent, and ask questions to get more information

• Can you share a bit more? “Ooh that’s very helpful. Thank you so much for bringing this up. I want to make sure I understand and can work on the right things. Could you share a bit more about [the feedback]?”

• Do you have an example? “This feedback is really helpful. [Mention why it’s helpful.] Do you have an example that comes to mind?"

And Ask for More Information

• "Great question. If you could share a bit of context on what's top of mind for you, it'll help me figure out what to share that's most relevant."

• "Hey, I'm presenting about X at Thursday's all-hands meeting. I want to make sure to cover what's most relevant and top of mind for you. Here are a few high-level ideas on what I think you'd want to know, but let me know what's missing and if there's anything else you'd want me to include."

• "That's a great question. What specifically prompted you to ask?" If you have a strong relationship with the person.

🌐 Be Mindful of the Context

• Managing Up: Understanding your manager's priorities and concerns helps you anticipate their needs and tailor your communication accordingly.

• Giving and Receiving Feedback: Consider the feedback giver's motivations and the receiver's potential reactions to ensure feedback is constructive and actionable.

• Delegating Tasks: Anticipate potential roadblocks and provide clarity to ensure your team members have the information and support they need to succeed.

• Pitching Ideas: Understanding your audience's motivations and potential objections helps you tailor your pitch to maximize buy-in.

• Handling Tough Conversations: Uncovering the deeper concerns behind disagreements or criticisms can help you navigate conflict effectively and find mutually beneficial solutions.

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In Short

Look beyond surface-level questions by actively listening for underlying concerns, observing non-verbal cues, and asking clarifying questions to understand the true intent behind someone's inquiry.​​